Dipper Actually Goes to Tacobell
by Shavenyeti
Summary: Its early, you're grumpy, and your tummy is rumbly. Will you fufill your quest for your low quality burritos? Tune in to find out.


Your arms are crossed as you grumpily sit in the back of your Great Uncles station-whatever. You honestly have no idea what kind of car it is and as of right now you really don't care. "You know back in my day when we went on a road trip kids were rewarded for being silent but this is just kind of creepy." Your Gruncles raspy voice shouted from the driver's seat. Mabel decided to chime in, "Dipper isn't participating in any conversations because he stubbed his toe this morning and now hes being a sourkraut." You were about to correct her but you decided to let her believe that as the truth. The truth was you were just in a genuinely bad mood.

"Well when I was your age and I stubbed my toe I would punch the dresser right in the nose to establish dominance." Gruncle boasted in a fit of pure manliness. "Gruncle Stan I don't think thats how dressers work." You decided to object. "What? Do you have a PHD in Dressertology? No you don't! So I don't want any funny buisness from you."

If this was his definition of funny buisness he was in for a load of grump. You were about 20 minutes from the city, and your stomach was beginning to growl. You hadn't gotten any breakfast since you were too busy cry-PUNCHING THE DRESSER TO ESTABLISH DOMINANCE. Mabel initiated her morning routine of playing the Star Spangled Banner with her mouthfarts. Normally you would just pass this off as your sibling being silly but sadly the Prime Minister of Happy Dipper was being held Hostage by the Toe Stubbers.

"Can you stop that? Just for like 20 minutes?" You snark at your sister. "Cheesy looeesy Dip what is up with you?" She continued to play the starspangled banner, it was off key, even if it was played with hand farts. "I'm sorry I'm just hungry."  
"Well why didn't you say so?" Gruncle Stan exclaimed to the passengers behind him.

They pulled into a near by Dairy Queen.  
"Ummmm..." Mabel began to nervously poke her fingers together. You look over at her, and you instinctively foresee her next sentence.  
"Dairy Queen gives me really bad gas..." Mabel said with a chuckle. "How bad?" Gruncle Stan asked with a frown, he really wanted a Blizzard. "It'd be like Buhdapest all over again," You chime in with an apathetic tone. "Hes right!" Mabel shouted, pointing at an adjacent restraunt.

"How about Burger King?!" She said with such vehement excitement that she might have lept from the station wagon. "Ugh oh my god no I hate Burger King!." You decided to put your 2 cents in. Then again you didn't really dislike burger king too much it was just not Burger time. "Oh my god you are such a party pooper. I here by banish you from Party Town." Mabel said banging a pretend gavel."

Just when you thought all was lost, thats when you saw it. A fine Taco Bell. Thats what you were craving, a 5-layer burrito. "How about Tacobell?" You ask, to which Mabel exclaims "BUHDAPESSST!" Obviously you were not going to be able to go to taco bell. Although...  
"Hey Gruncle Stan," You leaned forward in the car, "What if you guys went to Burger King, and I went to Taco Bell?"  
Gruncle Stan shrugged, "I don't see why not, but take this for protection"

"Ummm...Grunks?" You asked your Great Uncle with a shaky voice, it seems he handed you a live grenade, "Is this a...grenade?" Your uncle nodded, "Darn tootin it is, weapon of choice. If you're gonna get jumped you're gonna take them all out with you." You decide to not pocket the Grenade. The Tacobell is only a block away, its 10:00am on a sunday. "Well guys I'll meet you at the tacobell ok?" You said as you hopped out of the car and started walking.

God damn this building is so majestic, its fine maroon arch holding a fine slogan slinging bell, and it was right at your fingertips. You entered the tacobell and smelled the refreshing taste of 25% newspaper meet. You didn't care about taste or quality you just wanted that damn burrito. You walked up to the cashier, his name was Julio. "Welcome to Taco bell what can I get you." Julio says to you in a monotone droll. "Uhm, two five layer burritos and a medium drink please." You say without fail. "That'll be 4.27$ please." You hand Julio a 5, and promptly get your change and reciept. Your number is 203, maybe this will be your new lucky number or something.

After a breif minute wait your order is done, and you go and take your seat. Shit you forgot to get your drink, you decide to get Sierra Mist this time. You open the first burrito and bite into AOW OW OW HOT. You should've waited. You let the burrito cool down and you resume eating. Damn, Julio did a damn good job on this burrito, a+ job julio. You finish your first burrito when you hear a familiar car pull up into the drive way. You decide to wrap up your burrito and head on out. For such a crappy morning, you did enjoy your time at Taco Bell.


End file.
